Take that Ken Keyes!

Ken may have won an achievement award for his AV related endeavors  in Junior High, which I’m sure is quite  the resume-enhancer in 2007. However, does he have one of these:

 

Yes, winning the Achievement Award got you mad cred with the Supermog production crew, and might even have helped you land some ass on the NYC/DC trip when you weren’t hauling gear, but did it allow you to walk out of classes whenever the desire struck? This IMC Media Pass did just that.

In Junior High, these things were gold. Oops, Tornrose is getting ready to collect the homework and I don’t have it—Pass time. Schnidman’s gearing up for an oral exam—I’m needed in the darkroom. Gulley’s just standing there at the head of the class looking all Big Bird weird (while simultaneously being afraid of Styrofoam)—I’m outta here.

So, while others of you might have been been proudly displaying your Achievement Awards, socializing with girls, or even playing sports, the chosen few got to ditch class on a whim.

How you like me now Ken Keyes?

V66: “New England, The Patriots and We”

The year was 1986. The New England Patriots had “Squished the Fish” by beating the hated rivals, the Miami Dolphins. They were on their way to a record loss in Super Bowl XX, 46-10, at the hands of the Bears. But in the weeks after the Dolphins win to take the AFC Championship and before the Bears mauling, all eyes were on V66 and its grammatically-correct ode: “New England, The Patriots and We.”

Yes, it’s awful. But as one YouTube commenter rightly points out, it doesn’t suck nearly as much as the Bears’ own Super Bowl Shuffle.

I am the second-laziest man in America.

Don’t believe me? Do a Google search for “laziest man in America.”

V66: Feist

Have you heard of Feist? I love that gal—she’s great. Her last album is a classic. (As good as American Beauty or From Her to Eternity.)

That reminds me of a joke: What did the deadhead say to the other deadhead when they ran out of pot? “This music sucks.” (Ah, I tell that joke to Bunky all the time.)

I discovered Feist when I heard her cover of Secret Heart by Ron Sexsmith. (I love that guy—he’s great.) Some songs stay in my head for days. (It’s like I having an iPod with one song on it, or in our case, a cassette single with an auto-reverse player.) I have heard this song over and over again in my head these last two weeks and it won’t leave. Maybe I need to let it go here.

“So Sorry” is an advanced released from Feist’s website. This song is on the new album due out any day. I can’t guarantee you’ll like it but I can guarantee you that I like it.

V66: Wicked in Wayland

As long as we’re celebrating the return of Crowded House, here’s the video for my favorite CH song, “Better Be Home Soon.”

Two notes from ’80s music land

1. Crowded House will release its first album in almost 15 years. The bad news? The Dixie Chicks co-wrote one of the songs. (And no, Natalie Maines did not co-write “Chocolate Cake.”)

2. Pete Townshend is coming out with a website that promises to create your musical portrait from personal sittings or something like that by using music loops. Prediction: everyone will “look” like that keyboard into to “Eminence Front.”

You, too, can look like these men.

Stewart hopes to “see me”

Oh Stewie.  (We had these little pet names for each other.) I did not forget any definite articles in my sentences either.

Mrs. Stewart Gave Me an A+ on the China Trade Paper

Anne Bennett’s Husband may have his A/V club certificate and lord it over us, but to me the true measure of a Wayland man is how he did in Mrs. Stewart’s class. And, as is proven below, I got an A+ on the China Trade paper:

Now, why she chose the odd “Base 30″ system of grading, I don’t know. But a 30/30 is an A+. And, as a copy editor, I take issue with the red pen addition of “the” as the third word. I believe the sentence stands on its own. Further, check out writing like this:

I still write about international affairs, and I can tell you I would get away with this sentence today. Actually, the paper largely holds its own, until this act of bullshit:

Ah, yes, fish. We traded the Chinese this mysterious object we call “fish.” Because China doesn’t have, say, a 9,000 mile coastline nor any major rivers, the Chinese were unfamiliar with this aquatic treat and required the U.S. to provide it for them. Fish: Common to Us, A Total Friggin’ Mystery to the Chinese. (This would go on to be the title of my next paper.)

Anyway, thanks Mrs. S for overlooking that act of B.S.-ery and seeing the future correspondent — and capitalist — within.

Worst Interviews Ever: Tom Coleman (Part II)

Here’s the remaining part of the interview with Tom Coleman.

Attention all Kristins: Pay close attention to the quiz section of this show…

Pac-Man well hated by Class of ‘86

Lest anybody think Kavet was the only one who hated Pac-Man, I present to you the following collage from my 8th Grade yearbook. As you can see, Pac-Man took quite a hit.

For an added bonus, I’ve included Lee Adam’s yearbook inscription to me.

Vrablik and Tally both clearly hate Pac-Man, and then there’s that mystery hater who clarified his hatred in red. Any guesses who that might be? Ken? Tim suggested that I look like a Pac-Man, and then retracted. Kavet reaffirmed his hatred of Pac-Man, and in true yearbook style, Lee wished me a good summer.

As for Pac-Man Ellis Brown, let us never forget that he stole Walter’s Fresca on the Cape trip.

Note that to this day many video game luminaries such as Trip Hawkins continue to carry the Pac-Man sucks torch.

Also, Ms. Pac-Man is a whore.

Emmy Nominee/Indie Screenwriter Actually Pac-Man Hater

Read It and Weep

Bet you guys don’t have one of these babies. Signed by the man himself. Actually, you probably all have one of these. Bet you can’t FIND it though!

Worst Interviews Ever: Tom Coleman

We’ll travel wherever it takes to track down classmates—in this case somewhere in Northern Carolina! That’s where we met up with Tom Coleman.

To refresh, Tom and family moved to Hong Kong at the start of Sophomore year. Can you imagine? Today that event would be an entire series on MTV.

There was a void in the neighborhood when the Colemans moved. It was really tough having my best friend leave. And why I wondered would anyone choose to leave Wayland, MA? My 14-year old brain worked on that one for a long while.

Tom and I stayed in touch though and I am so happy we were able to meet up last weekend. What a great trip.

Here is the first of two:

Party at Siobhan’s!

Mr. Unpronounceable just zoomed outta here on his motorcycle for a week-long Born-To-Be-Wild extravaganza. You might think I would miss him, and I might–between eating dinner standing over the sink, snacking in front of the open fridge, leaving my wet bath towel on the bathroom floor, leaving my clothes wherever they fall, letting the dogs sleep in the bed–hell, having the whole bed to myself!

Really, I love the man to death. But a girl’s gotta have time to herself every once in a while.

Another Postcard from Mississippi

Have I mentioned that Chris has been named “He Who Knows What He Is Doing” by the Midwestern volunteer contingent?  Chris forebore to notify them today that “He Who Knows What He Is Doing” just locked his keys in the van.  On the other hand, while Todd was trying to jimmy the lock, the entire mechanism came loose and fell out of the door.  So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.

Second day of work, and Chris & co went back to Landham’s place to finish installing the windows, a french door, and some more great food into their faces. 

Their second job was to move two small outbuildings several feet to the left.  I know that when the infrastructure fails up here, it’s the Shedmoving I miss most. 

No, actually, this was a crucial task in preparing the lot where the new Baptist church will be built, the old one having been swept away.  The “Church”, of course, is still there, as in “Gonna have some Church tonight” and that’s just what they did.  The service began calmly enough with requests for volunteers to sing hymns, etc. (Sarah is a minister and has a particularly gorgeous voice; she stood up to sing one and they wouldn’t let her sit down until she’d done four) But as the evening went on, the little gathering got to jumping and shouting and calling and responding, stand up sister and shout AMEN!  Chris said it was almost impossible not to fall into it and, you know, what the hell?  I mean heck.

Chris also weathered “Grumpy Lady.”  He said that he’d heard that this woman had been so cranky that a big group of volunteers walked out on the job.  Well, turned out that she was perfectly lovely, and the volunteers had left after she tore them new ones about hanging the wrong kind of wallboard in the wrong places anyway… all perfectly reasonable.  Chris & team tore out the old stuff, put up the new stuff AND installed kitchen cabinets to boot.  i mentioned to my husband that if he wanted to relive his trip when he got back, i knew of some kitchen cabinets that could use replacing…  I was, apparently, not funny.

Here are some interesting things that you would see in your backyard if you lived in Pearlington.  First, it’s wet.  The water table is so high that if you dig a hole in your yard more than six inches deep it immediately starts filling with water. 

Second, crawdads build drip castles.  Apparently it’s so wet everywhere that these guys don’t just live in the bayou (or whatever) they live in your yard, tunneling into the mud like clams, sending up a similar little tower of dirt, in some cases six or eight inches tall.  Nifty!

Also today, the group went to find Royal Royal (I shit you not, that’s his name) the friend of one of our parishoners.  Royal Royal looks like a really skinny Santa.  You know, in case you ever need to find him. 

Tomorrow morning, a quick trip into New Orleans, ’cause ya gotta, and then back on the road again to come home.  it’s 10:00 now, and Chris called to say they’d just gotten back from the worksite.  He didn’t have many fascinating anecdotes or observations to share, he was just bone tired.  Poor guy.